Feb. 27: Wife Swap?

I made a new friend this week. We met at a networking event and he gave the group some advice on how to be successful in our professional lives: “Spend some time cuddling with your wife each morning before you get out of bed, and each night before you fall asleep.” Not quite the advice I was expecting on how to be a better pastor, but the wise voice of experience to be sure. (I can’t wait to put his words of wisdom to the test :).

Last night I caught this show on TV called Wife Swap. Have you seen this thing? They take two families—ideally (for higher ratings), the more opposite the family’s value systems, family rhythms, income levels and geographic location, the better—and the wives/moms trade places for two weeks. During the first week they just experience life in the new family as things normally are. In week two the new wife/mom gets to make any changes she chooses and the family has to live within new rules and parameters—that’s when the fireworks really start flying!

The best part is at the end of the two weeks when the wives are reunited with their husbands and the two couples sit down together and evaluate the experience—more fireworks! Without fail, both couples are grateful for the reunion. The husbands have a new appreciation for their wives (and vice-versa). The cameras show up a few weeks later to see if things are any different in the family’s lives after having gone through the experience.

Having your life lived, scrutinized, judged and critiqued by a complete stranger—and then have that stranger suggest improvements, could no doubt be an uncomfortable and sobering experience. The families came away from the experiment (ordeal?) with a new appreciation for the family/spouse they already have, and made some changes to improve their family life and show each other have much they are loved and valued.

During the course of 22+ years of marriage I’d be lying if I said the thought of trading my wife in for a different one (or no wife at all) never crossed my mind. I’m sure the thought of a different husband (or none at all) has probably crossed Kim’s mind more than mine—I’ve given her a lot of "stuff" to put up with over the years.

Rick Warren says, “Learning from our mistakes is called experience; learning from somebody else’s is called wisdom.” After watching Wife Swap it just affirms what I'd already learned... I'll gladly stick with the one I’ve got—and learn to appreciate her (and show that appreciation) more than ever before--she is God's tailored-made gift for me.

The Bible advises, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself..., each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself... Ephesians 5:25-33 (NIV)

Bottom line, married or not: We need to learn to express appreciation to (and for) the people with whom we live. How can you show your wife, husband, children how much you appreciate and value them? What’s one change you could make to lighten their load and make life a little easier for them?

~ Father, help me to build better relationships at home by being verbally appreciative of the people with whom I share the nittty-gritty of daily living. Forgive me for ever thinking about a “trade-in”; thank you for the help-mate you’ve given me. Amen.