No More Tears

"Don't ever discount the wonder of your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak." ~ The Shack, p. 228

A picture of the future: God lives with people and they live with him. They belong to Him, and God himself will be with them and be their God. There is the promise that there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain. But before that there is the promise that although this world is full of tears, God will be the one to wipe the tears from our eyes.

Disarming Agitators

The other day I was just a bear. Snapping at everyone. Frustrated. Agitated. Stressed. Pacing. Caged. Finally I got a piece a paper and wrote the answer to four questions:

About what am I ANGRY?
About what am I ANXIOUS?
Of what am I AFRAID?
What am I AVOIDING?

It was amazing, the instant peace that settled over me by just seeing these things in front of me. Two or three things under each heading. Identifying them didn't make them disappear but suddenly took the teeth out of them.

The things about which I was angry--frustrations with family members--suddenly seemed petty. I even laughed that I had been stressing over a couple of these things. Anxiety and fear turned to resolve to confront the things I had been avoiding.

Amazing how quickly this little exercise transformed my whole disposition. These agitators and stressors become so small and were instantly disarmed when dragged into the light.

Living in the Light

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." (1 John 1:5-7)

I've always heard that "walking in darkness" meant sinfulness, breaking God's rules. "Walking in the light" meant following God's rules, doing good, being good... being perfect like God is perfect.

A new understanding is that "walking in darkness" means living a life of secrecy, hiding, wearing a mask, deception. "Walking in the light" doesn't mean a person is sin-free, but rather they are honest about the shortcomings, failures, destructive habits and sin with which they struggle.

"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." (John 3:19-21)

So John concludes: "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." (1 John 1:8-10)

Love is Not Proud

I love my children. I am proud of my children. In what sense is love not proud? When our pride is in others it is loving, when our pride is self-centered it can become noxious, even deadly to relationships. True love is not proud, selfish, arrogant, puffed-up.

I was eating Rice Krispies cereal this morning. "Snap, crackle and pop" when the milk is poured. Puffed rice. Bigger than a regular grain of rice... and hollow. Prideful people are like that, trying to appear bigger than they really are and hollow on the inside. Prideful people are puffed up.

God is love. Love is not proud. God is not prideful. We were not created to worship God. We were created in hopes that we would choose to be in relationship with Him. Worship is the consummation of relationship. Worship is not about a prideful God who made people so they could constantly tell Him how great He is. God is not proud.

God does not need you, or anyone, or anything--He is fully fulfilled within Himself. While God does not need you, He desires you. Your Creator wants you to know His heart and to choose to live your life with Him. God is not proud or selfish, though He is often misrepresented to be both those things. You are the object of His affection.

Love Lived Out

I know I've been inconsistent with posts the lasts couple of weeks. Lots going on. Stress.
A friend of mine went to the hospital three weeks ago today with severe abdominal pain. He's still there, in the Intensive Care Unit.

He had gall bladder surgery eighteen days ago and during surgery he aspirated, lungs filling with fluid, and he has not yet awakened from that. His wife has held constant vigil by his bedside for nearly three weeks. She is hopeful for a full recovery and wants to be there when he wakes up.

On the home front, my Mother-in-law had a stroke last July and came to live with us in October. My wife is a teacher, so her days are non-stop with work and then care-giving when she returns home. The days seem endless with very few breaks in a grinding monotony of our weekly routines. Signs of long-term improvement are few are far between, but we are hopeful.

Watching these two women, my friends wife and mine, has taught me what real love looks like. Patient. Kind. Humble. Sacrificial. Enduring. Selfless. Love does the dirty work, and does it for the long haul. Love is not the feel-good, romance sold to us in novels and movies. Love doesn't bail out when it's no longer fun or ceases to feel good.

Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

First Love

I heard it again recently and I cringe every time. "God is holy and cannot or will not look upon sin and/or sinners. Only after we come to the cross and repent of our sin will God have anything to do with us. Only after a person becomes a Christian will God love them or listen to their prayers."

It is just not true. Jesus was tagged "a friend of sinners", and while not intended as a compliment by any means, he wore it as a badge of honor. The way Jesus loved people is the way God loves people--same heart.

The idea that only after we come to Christ, confess our sins, repent and turn from our old lives will God be able to love us is just wrong.

"Because God loved the world so much, He gave His One and Only Son, and who ever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life." That little passage from John's Gospel is perhaps the best known verse in all the New Testament.

What comes first, the loving or the giving? He loved us first, that's the reason He gave. His love motivates His giving.

The loving comes first on His part, and that's what draws us. That's what gives us the courage to come out of hiding and confront the filth in our hearts and our lives. We respond to that love with confession of shortcomings, a changed mind and a change in behavior.

We don't "repent" in order to earn His love, but because we finally "get" just how much we are loved.

He loved you before the cross. He has always loved you. That is the very reason for the cross.

The Disciple named John sees it like this:

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us... We love because he loved us first. " (1 John 4:7-12, 19)

Incomparable Worth

Jesus once told the following parable (Matthew 13:45-46):

"The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it."

I've always heard that taught as "you should be willing to give up everything to obtain 'the kingdom of God' ("salvation"); that's what it costs...and it's worth the cost."

What if...

the guy who sold everything he had in order to buy the incomparable pearl was God and you were the incomparable pearl?

Ruby (for Mother's Day)

She had always wanted to be an actress
but she kept her career at home,
Playing out a cast of thousands
with not one to call her own.

For her husband she was Bathsheba,
Florence Nightingale for the kids,
For the neighbors she was the only one
who always had the time to give.

And when the rouge came off
at the end of the day
No one heard her say:

(chorus)
Lord, I want to be a ruby for you
and feel your pleasure in all that I do,
but I need some help on this weary way
'cause I don't think I can be
Super Woman one more day.

(bridge)
Who can find a virtuous woman?
Like rubies her value is high;
The heart of her husband does trust her
and on her rely.

She speaks with words of wisdom
gives life with acts of kindness
she eats not the bread of idleness
and her children call her blessed.

(Second verse)
Her husband grew tired of Bathsheba
and left to find a Monroe.
Her children grew up and grew wiser
too wise to need help to grow.

Sometimes her neighbors go see her
perform on a local stage,
And they say to themselves as they exit,
"Poor Ruby sure is showing her age."

But at night all alone
as she climbs up the stairs
she remembers her prayer:

(chorus)
Lord, I want to be a ruby for you
and feel your pleasure in all that I do,
but I need some help on this weary way
'cause I don't think I can be
Super Woman one more day.

No I don't think I can be
Super Woman one more day.


-------------------------------
I heard this song some 25 years ago and it stuck with me. At the time I was a young adult who had just left home and my parents were divorcing after 23 years of marriage. It reminded me of my Mom and how she has always been so giving and loving to everyone in her life.

Happy Mother's Day to Mom... and all the other "Rubies" out there.

(I do not know the author of the lyrics, but if anyone does please let me know so I can give them proper credit. Thanks.)

Paternity Testing

I am still amazed at how some Christians want to qualify the fact that God is love. That old "Yes, but..." thing keeps coming up in just about every conversation I have these days.

I am so disturbed by the attitude of many Christians toward those who are not Christians. A few have been adamant in their view that Christians are "children of God" and anyone who is not a Christian is "a child of the devil."

Personally, I think God is appalled by that attitude. What I find with many "believers" is that by labeling non-Christians (people whom God created in His own image, by the way) as "children of the devil" it seemingly justifies in their mind treating said labelees as something on the bottom of one's shoe.

The label gives some folks an excuse not to love "them" or have anything to do with "them." One women recently said to me, "There's no point in loving them until and unless they believe like we do."

Seriously, the attitude seems to be that it's okay to mistreat people and be rude since the one's being looked down upon are "children of the devil". The arrogance and smug superiority is sickening. They act like God doesn't start loving people until they convert. That is so far from His heart.

The belief that God only loves Christians, or only hears the prayers of Christians, is absolutely un-biblical and anti-Christ. God is love. God loves everyone. Jesus died to remove everyone's sin, guilt and shame.

He is not loving and patient only to those who believe, but especially to those who don't... in hopes that they one day will.

Jesus' warning to the religionists of his day seems fitting in our generation: "Woe to you... hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to... you travel half way around the world to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are." (Matthew 23:13-15)

God help us when our lives and attitudes become roadblocks to the very people God is seeking to draw to Himself.

By the way, the only people Jesus referred to as children of the devil were those same religionists referred to earlier who labeled Jesus a "friend of sinners" and refused to love the people that God loves and sent Jesus to rescue.

God's Favor

I often hear Christians talk about trying to attain God's "favor", even competing with each other for it... seeking to be the "most spiritual" in the group.

So here is the secret...

How do you get the favor of God? You’ve got it. You’re His child. You’ve already got His favor. He doesn’t favor one child over another, otherwise Christ died for nothing.

You don’t have to serve, or out-serve others, in order to get His favor.

I’ve seen families where the children are constantly competing for the attention and affection of their parents. I've seen children who were unsuccessful in this endeavor and resort to "bad" and even dangerous behavior. After all, negative attention is better than no attention at all.

At the playground, kids on monkeybars, “Daddy, look at me!” In the Church: “Father are you looking? I did something good."

God is constantly watching. He loves you. You have His favor. You don’t have to work for His attention or affection.

That's All He's Got

I was watching the old Rocky III movie the other day where Balboa took on Clubber Lang (played my Mr. T). In the finale, the big match, there is the scene where Rocky has taken Lang's most punishing shots and withstood them all.

He realizes this guy can't beat him, the victory is his. Rocky begins to taunt Lang in an effort to get him to expend his energy and wear himself out: "Is that all you've got!? You ain't nothin'!"

I was talking with a couple of friends about recent failure on my part, giving in to temptation--old habits die hard.

As I explained how it was different this time. There wasn't a sense of God's anger about my failure or even His disappointment. I was disappointed in myself. I felt yukky. There was no feeling of condemnation on God's part. There is a strong resolve not to go down that road again... It just doesn't hold the appeal that it once did.

My friend told me how the Enemy (the devil) works; basically he's only got three tricks: he lies to us and tries to deceive us. He tempts us. He accuses us. the Bible calls him "the Tempter", the "Father of Lies", and "the Accuser of the Saints."

If we no longer buy the lie; no longer take the bait (are attracted to the lure, the temptation); and after failing, we no longer allow his accusations to stick because we know whose we are in Christ... then we win the battle. That's all he's got. That's all he's got!

There is such freedom in that!

Love Does Not Envy

Envy, jealousy and lust have one thing in common--selfishness, in constant "receive" mode, rarely in "give" mode. Envy, jealousy and lust are all anti-relationship.

The Bible seems to contradict itself when it claims that "God is love" and that "love does not envy (or lust)", and in other places has God declaring that he is "a jealous God" and stating that the Holy Spirit "envies intensely."

The difference is that our desires are selfish, and self-seeking. God is not jealous for us in a possessive sense, but is jealous on our behalf. He desires to bring fulfillment to you.

“Don’t envy for yourself, you’ll destroy yourself. I’m jealous on your behalf, so stop trying to take for yourself and let me give you what you need.”

God never envies for Himself, or is jealous for Himself, God is not selfish.

I once knew a woman whose husband was incredibly jealous of her. She couldn't talk with her friends or go anywhere without having to give him a detailed report of where she had been, who she had been with, and what they talked about. She was constantly tormented by his suspicion, anger and paranoia. She settled for following his rules, proving herself faithful, and living with a few crumbs of freedom and independence on occasion.

Too often we think God is like that jealous husband and we believe the lie that He is selfish.

Only an envious God would give you life and then require that you give it back to Him. He gave you life to enjoy to the fullest. The truth is He never asks you to give him your life; it’s your heart He’s after.

God doesn't "use" people for His own purposes; He is not in relationship with you for what He can get out of it for Himself. God is not selfish! He does not want you to be used by anyone and He will never "use" you.

What does every parent want for their child? I want my kids to be happy, fulfilled, to love who they are and what they do – God wants the same thing for His children.

We often have a distorted view of His heart, that God is the opposite of who He really is. God is not envious, He’s not selfish.

God is not jealous of your relationships. He is NEVER in competition with your love for people. When you are loving people you are not far from the heart of God!

God is not envious because He is not in this relationship for Himself. Love never envies. God is love. God never envies.

God Always Protects

The Bible claims that "God is love" and "Love always protects", therefore God always protects.

The typical reaction is, "No! There is plenty of painful evidence that he doesn't!"

When my daughter was three years old I took her to the pediatrician for a MMR (Measles, Mumps and Rubella) vaccination.

I held her in my lap as she received the shots. I remember her looking up at me with tear-filled and terrified eyes. Her expression was a combination of fear, confusion and pain. She could not understand why I was betraying her and allowing these strangers to hurt her.

Was I protecting her? In the short-term, no; there was much pain. In the long-run, yes; for I was allowing her body to build up immunities to diseases that could cause her greater pain in years to come.

I think it is that way with God's protection. God is always loving, and His love always protects. God sees protection as a long-term venture, not just insulating us from short-term discomfort.

While our circumstances may cause immediate (yet temporary) pain today, God is using today's painful experiences to strengthen us so that we will be protected when facing larger challenges in the future.

Had we not gone through these present day (and past) painful experiences we would not be able to withstand the more potent and potentially fatal (to our spirits) obstacles that are to come.

God's protection is always focused on the long-term, big picture; and it's focused not so much on avoiding physical pain, but on protecting your heart.

God always protects. His protection is an expression of His love. God's protection is not the prevention of immediate pain but the preservation of our hearts.