Our family enjoys watching the television show “Survivor” where complete strangers are sent to isolated locations with few resources and live as a tribe, systematically voting individuals out of the tribe until there is a sole survivor. Sometimes our family life resembles that show, though we haven’t voted any out of the tribe…yet. I’m afraid that if a vote were taken I may not last long.
It is inevitable, when people live in close proximity, that they will occasionally (or constantly) irritate each other. Add to the mix different generations or in-laws and the family dynamic can become dynamic, indeed!
How do we get along? First, we focus on fixing ourselves and adjusting our own attitudes before we try correcting another person’s. The Bible (in Romans, chapter 12) gives us wise counsel for getting along, whether it’s a church family, extended family or the family living under your roof:
¨ Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought,
¨ Remember that we do not all have the same function,
¨ Don’t forget that each member belongs to all the others,
¨ Love each other sincerely,
¨ Be devoted to one another in brotherly love,
¨ Honor one another above yourselves,
¨ Bless those who persecute you,
¨ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn,
¨ Live in harmony with one another,
¨ Do not repay anyone evil for evil,
¨ Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody,
¨ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone,
¨ Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's correction,
¨ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
What if someone in the family really needs an attitude adjustment? Pray to God. Check you anger at the door. Speak the truth in love. Remember, it’s easier when expectations and consequences have been agreed upon up front. In military operations they have ROE, or rules of engagement. But when one side doesn’t “play by the rules” it makes success nearly impossible. Sometimes you just need to change your approach.
How are things in your tribe? Do you need to change your approach to interacting with each other? I think we could all do with a daily dose of Romans 12—an R-12 booster shot, if you will.
~ Father, thank you for the family you have given me. Help me to love them the way you do. Father, help me to be the solution and not the problem when family conflicts arise. Amen.
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