Feeling Rotten

The past three nights have been rough and I'm feeling rather rotten this morning. Not to be a complainer, I think I just overdid it Thursday and Friday with the running of errands, cooking and doing the dishes, and grocery shopping, etc.

This morning, per the surgeon's instructions, was the first day to change the dressings and get a shower. The "reveal" uncovered nine silver Frankenstein-esque staples across a still-swollen belly that bears evidence of recent "manscaping" in preparation for the surgery.

I have cleared the schedule to have a day of rest. I gave up trying to go to a Men's Breakfast at church this morning; will bow out of the fundraiser event this afternoon and have canceled the movie date-night with Kim this evening.

I'm hoping to go strong Sunday morning...Sunday afternoon and evening will be "wait and see" at this point.

The other big heartbreak (aside from not going to the movie with Kim): Next weekend's kayak campout with the guys is a "no-go" for me. I can't see kayaking at this point. So today is kick back and rest like I should have, but didn't do, the past couple of days.

My First Surgery

I had surgery Wednesday morning for a ventral hernia located just above my navel. It has been there for several years, unsightly but painless. It's been bothering me lately so I finally decided to have it repaired.

Here's the TMI portion for some of you, but the best part for those of you who like all the gory details (Hi, Caroline!):
Often, this type of hernia is painless, but may be tender and can cause discomfort during any type of physical strain, such as lifting heavy objects, coughing, or straining during bowel movements. The bulge may disappear when lying down, and be more visible when standing up. Symptoms include pain, which may be a sharp or dull ache that feels worse towards the end of the day. Other symptoms include nausea, vomiting, and the inability to have a bowel movement. Continuous or severe discomfort, or nausea related to the bulge are signs that the hernia may be entrapped or strangulated. If you have these symptoms, be sure to contact your physician immediately.

The video below shows the laparoscopic procedure for repairs. I went old school, with an incision several inches long, push the tissue back through the opening in the muscles, and put a mesh patch underneath the muscles so it doesn't (hopefully) pop back through at a later date.



Check in was at 6am with the surgery scheduled for 7:30. All went according to plan except a smaller incision than previously planned (yea!) but a longer recovery time than usual. I could not wake up!! I was feeling a little nauseated, and no one wanted me heaving just moments after the incision and stitches--least of all, me! The medicine they gave me to alleviate the nausea--you guessed it-- made me sleepy.

I hear I was in rare form, comedically speaking, and kept the recovery staff cracking up. I don't recall this, but apparently at one point "The Boys Are Back in Town" was playing over the sound system and I was accompanying with my air guitar, lavender gown, and surgery socks. Why no one got a picture is beyond me. I suspect they kept me doped up on purpose just to get a few more laughs.

I vaguely and groggily heard the nurse saying that if I didn't wake up they would put me in a room and keep me over night. Not happening!!! I willed myself awake long enough to get dressed and get wheeled down to the loading zone.

Once seatbelted into the van I was out like a light. Between me and my Mother-in-law our home looks like a hospital ward. I slept most of the afternoon, enjoying the effects of the vicodin. I'll have to take it easy for a few days--no lifting anything over 4 pounds--and hopefully get a good report when I check in with the doctor next week.

Let me just say, my wife is incredible!!!! What a saint!!! What a blest, but sore, man I am!

The 'Not-So-Great' Debate

Tuesday night saw the second of three debates between the top two presidential contenders, Republican John McCain, Senator from Arizona, and Democrat Barack Obama, Senator for Illinois. It did not hold my attention as much as the Vice Presidential Debate last week.

Last night's debate was a 90 minute exchange in a town-hall-style meeting in front of 80 selected voters, and focused on a nation in economic crisis. Each candidate promised anxious Americans that he had the better plan and vision to lead the country through what both men agreed was the America's worst financial situation since the Great Depression.

The audience mostly watched in silence -- not applauding or laughing — and the debate was without dramatic confrontations or the personal exchanges that have characterized both campaigns in recent weeks. I saw no evidence that this debate would change the course of the campaign.

Part of the reason it didn't hold my attention was because I was preoccupied with other things: my own ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder); my outpatient surgery which was less than 24 hours away at the time of the debate (more about that in a later post); and assisting my son with a project due for his Spanish class about the great boxer, Oscar De la Hoya.

One more debate, scheduled for next Wednesday, will be the last before the November 4 election day. Hopefully it will give those voters who are as yet undecided the clarity they need to vote for "The Maverick" (a.k.a. McNasty) or "That one"... or one of the other four major candidates we never hear about.

Destiny

Almost like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, we are part coward and part daredevil. The coward is constantly whispering, Better safe than sorry. The daredevil is whispering, Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I asked God a dangerous question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" (By the way, the only thing more dangerous than asking that question is not asking that question).

~ Mark Batterson, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day

Venture

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.

~ Mark Twain


"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

Watchful

Watch your thoughts
they become words.

Watch your words
they become actions.

Watch your actions
they become habits.

Watch your habits
they become your character.

Watch your character
it becomes your destiny.

from an Argus inspirational poster in my 10th grader's classroom.

Ready!

The preparations are nearly complete for my Mother-in-law to move in with us. With the help of some great friends the wheelchair ramp was completed today--including some fancy saw work on the tops of the posts and a nice landing. The hospital bed has been delivered along with a new wheelchair. The bathroom is not finished but sufficient. She is "eating like crazy" according to the Mrs. after being told that she has to be able to eat in order to go home. Monday is moving day and I think we're ready for her.

When There Are No Words

How shall I pray?
Are tears prayers, Lord?
Are screams prayers,
or groans
or sighs
or curses?

Can trembling hands be lifted to you,
or clenched fists
or the cold sweat that trickles down my back
or the cramps that knot my stomach?

Will you accept my prayers, Lord,
my real prayers,
rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,

and not just the pretty, cut-flower, gracefully arranged
bouquet of words?

Will you accept me, Lord,
as I really am,
messed up mixture of glory and grime?

by Ted Loder, Guerillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle, (Philadelphia: Innisfree Press, 1984), 69.

One of the ways in which we process grief is sighing. It is a physiological response to distress; when we don't know how to verbalize our feeling we often sigh. And we can take comfort from the scriptures, especially when our hearts are heavy...
"Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing." (Psalm 5:1)

"The Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words." (Romans 8:26)

The Great Debate

I've had the debate on my calendar for weeks, watched the debate last night with great anticipation, and was very pleased. I think both candidates did a great job of presenting their positions and challenging the positions of the opposing party. Contrary to what the "talking heads" are saying this morning I think Gwen Ifill did a good job of moderating and asked pertinent questions.

Because of my position as pastor I tend to keep my political views close to the vest. Most of my Democratic friends think I'm a Republican, and my Republican friends think I'm a Democrat. I like to challenge the values (and behavior) of both parties and contrast them to the Way of Jesus and his political solutions. I would never insult my congregants' intelligence by telling them for whom to vote, but encourage them to do their research, think for themselves and vote their convictions; and VOTE. It's not only a privilege, but a patriotic duty.

My friend John e-mailed me at 10:52 last night proclaiming "Palin proves that she has what it takes to run the government!!!!!!! Sure wish she could debate Obama as she debates at least as well as him!!!!"

She did a good job. She not only met, but exceeded expectations, which were pretty low to begin with considering all the negative press and comedic mocking she received in recent weeks. Her strategy was evident: deliver your talking points and pivot to an attack on Barack Obama - regardless of what the moderator is asking.

Joe Biden did what he needed to do as well. He never seemed arrogant, condescending or chauvinistic. He didn't drone on endlessly and never put his foot in his mouth. More importantly, Mr Biden did what he came to do - make a clear case against John McCain. He also did a good job and made a strong case for his and Obama's positions on the issues.

I live in one of those handful of "battleground states" or "swing states" that could be crucial in determining the outcome of this election. Our area has a huge military population and tends to vote Republican. When the local newspaper polled readers online as to "who won the vice presidential debate on Thursday night?" the results looked like this:

Sen Joe Biden: 78% (5829 votes), Gov. Sarah Palin: 22% (1651 votes)

I won't declare a winner. Both candidates did what they needed to... and didn't do what they didn't need to do -- no slip ups. I will make one prediction however: The next 30 historic days will be intoxicating for all the political junkies out there.

I Love Fall

The morning air was cool and crisp--i could "see my breath". I sat on the patio in the pre-dawn chill, wrapped in a blanket, with a cup of hot hazelnut coffee. I sat silently and watched the sun rise, accompanied by songbirds--heaven on earth. I love Fall!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Breast cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in women, exceeded only by lung cancer. The chance of developing invasive breast cancer at some time in a woman’s life is about 1 in 8 (12%), and women living in North America have the highest rate of breast cancer in the world (National Cancer Institute).

Early detection is paramount for successful treatment.

To help out, go to www.thebreastcancersite.com/clickToGive

Your click on the "Click Here to Give - it's FREE" button helps fund free mammograms for women in need — low-income, inner-city and minority women whose awareness of breast cancer and opportunity for help is often limited.

Preparations

My Mother-in-law is moving in...and that's a good thing. She suffered a stroke on July 9. In late August we moved her from her home (4 states away) to a physical rehab center near us. She has made improvements in some areas and plateaued in others. It looks like Monday will be transition day to move her in and begin at-home care with us.

We've been busy getting things ready--interviewing home health care providers, refitting the bathroom, transforming a "living room" into a handicap accessible bedroom, and building a wheelchair ramp. (A quick shout out to Mark, Jeff, Jimmy, Jeremy, Mike and James--thanks guys!!) We were on a roll until darkness and and a thunderstorm set in. Weather permitting we'll finish it off in short order by the weekend.

I'm glad we can have mom with us, as we cannot bear the thought of putting her in a nursing home. Given her physical needs and limitations we may be "getting in over our heads", but want to do everything possible to give her the best living situation. Her life has been turned upside down physically, she's been uprooted from her house and home... getting her settled with her family will give her a sense of stability and hope.

Scout (our little "building inspector" in the lower right-hand corner of the picture) will be a good companion. The people in our church are like a big extended family (dysfunctional and loving), ready to welcome her in and provide lots of encouragement and friendship. So everything is getting ready to change again in ways we can't even imagine yet, I'm sure.

I told the Mrs. the other day, "Our 23 years together has been a lot like riding a roller coaster; hold on tight, here we go again!!!"