Relationship Is Everything

I've always been more task-oriented than people-oriented. In fact, people have often gotten in the way of me completing the task at hand. In spite of being married nearly 25 years, the truth is I've never been very good at relationships. Until last weekend I had not seen my brother and sister and their families in seven years.

God is all about relationships. When everything is said and done the only thing that really lasts is relationships. Heaven will be about relationship--face to face with God.

The Apostle John, exiled on the isle of Patmos was separated by the sea from everything and everyone he held dear. In the final chapters of the Book of Revelation he sees heaven as relationship restored, separation annihilated:

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will their God and they will be my sons and daughters."
(Revelation 21:1-7)

It's not about doing more, trying harder, working longer and being more obedient. It's about learning to relate to the living God and people whom He created and loves.

Jesus said, "And this is the real and eternal life: That they know you, The one and only true God, And Jesus Christ, whom you sent." (John 17:3) Heaven is not reserved for the hereafter, it can begin in the here and now. Relationship is everything.

Obedience ISN'T Everything

For years I've said that if I condensed my relationship with God down to a bumper sticker it would read: "Obedience is Everything". Jesus said, "If you love me, you'll obey my commands." Each action a test of love; every lapse of obedience was spiritual infidelity, demonstration of a lack of love on my part. Obedience is everything.

No it isn't. That's not relationship. Taking on the Avis motto, "We Try Harder", thinking it would get me where I wanted to be, but it just doesn't work. Do more. Try harder. Work longer.

Yet one can still come up feeling like God is distant, wondering if He really exists. Striving, yet never connecting. Futility.

But what if Jesus wasn't giving us a requirement--a prerequisite-- but rather a promise? If you love me, live in relationship with me, abide with me, then I promise that obedience will be the mark of your life.

It's not about obeying in order to earn his love, or even prove your love for God. It's about wanting to obey because I know how much I am loved. Obedience isn't everything. Love is everything.

Many people strive to keep the Law (obey) in order to win God's favor and we never can do it--every one of us falls short. God says if you'll live in my love, you'll be able to do what you strove to do but were unable to do. Sweet spot.

Nail Lightly

I grew up on the Gulf Coast of Alabama, and as an adult lived in New Orleans and along the Mississippi coast. I know a little bit about hurricanes... and roofing, the two going together hand in (work) glove. I also lived in "Tornado Alley" in Arkansas. All this to say two things: I am a proud son of the South, and I know the value of having things nailed down tightly.

But there is also a danger of having things nailed down too tightly. Attitudes, beliefs, opinions... sometimes folks can have their thinking nailed down so tightly that one is unable to change their thinking even in light of compelling evidence. This malady can effect liberals and conservatives, atheists and religious zealots.

With certitude and arrogance, like those preachers of old profusely proclaiming that "if God had intended for man to fly he would have given them wings like the angels", all the while the boys are out in the field building an airplane.

Point: while it is important to have beliefs, and to believe the right things-- the truth-- stay open to changing your beliefs... or rather to God showing up in ways that don't fit your preconceived ideas and making you rethink everything. The more tightly erroneous beliefs are nailed down, the more painful it is when Reality pries them up.

Final thought: Truth is a person, and his name is Jesus.

Driven No More

I've wasted too much time being driven... by guilt, by purpose, by self-preservation.
God doesn't want us driven by any of these things (sorry Rick) or anything else. He wants us to be led. And He wants to be the One doing the leading.

You drive cattle. You lead sheep. To not be driven by the expectations of God or man, but simply following the Living God... there's freedom in that... and adventure... and peace.

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all ; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one."
(Jesus of Nazareth, quoted in the Gospel of John, 10:27-30)

Nude Photo Shoot

No pictures on this post. Be grateful. I went to the skin doc today. I've got ivory skin/red hair and an ideal candidate for skin cancer. Several suspicious moles have been removed over the past few months. So today we did "body mapping", head-to-toe photos of every inch of skin. A point of comparison for future checkups to see if any spots change color and/or shape, or if any new growths appear.

I always thought I'd be embarrassed to pose nude, but nah. Not that I'm looking to make a career shift in that direction. It was easy knowing the doc wasn't there to make me feel guilty for being out of shape, wasn't there to scold me for not wearing sunscreen with a higher SPF, wasn't there to compare me to the models and celebrities whose pictures filled the magazines in his waiting room.

He was there to help me. If he found anything that would endanger me he was ready to remove it and make things right. I've come to see God and judgment in a similar light. God is not looking to condemn me for imperfections; or scold me for being "less than" and for not measuring up.

God wants to examine me in order to help me... in order to right whatever may endanger me. So there is no fear, and there is no shame, no hesitancy in stepping into the light of God's judging gaze.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; Test me and know my thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me along the path of everlasting life."
(Psalm 139:23-24)

Love and Fear

Religion needs an angry god, and fear of his retribution, in order to survive. Religion is based on doing good and avoiding bad, however those are defined by said religion, in order to incur the god's blessing and avoid his/her/its wrath. Without fear religion doesn't work.

Jesus never came to establish a religion. He came to make it possible for us to have a real and living relationship with the real and living God. Fear can motivate me to behave... for awhile. Fear controls the mind. Love wins the heart. It changes the motivation--the want-to.

God doesn't use fear to accomplish anything. Fear always motivates people toward self-preservation, never into real relationship. God wants a real relationship with you.

Religion believes that it takes fearing for our own our necks to get us to "act right". It's not out of some high calling to serve our fellow man, but out of a much lower desperation to save our own hides. In terms of my relationship with God, love has done for me what fear never did.

God doesn't use fear, guilt and shame to leverage us into a relationship. Real relationship is based on love, not fear. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."(1 John 4:18)

A writer on another blog recently wrote: "Largely we've been sold a bill of goods in the past 25 years by evangelical leaders who have mistakenly taught us that Christianity is about protecting a way of life—a Christian nation, a civil/social morality. For many years now, Christians have been drawing lines, putting sinners on one side and themselves on the other, and saying, 'Be afraid of those people over there. They are out to get you. They will ruin your country, your lifestyle, your government… you name it.'

"What is tragic about this is how it reduces Christianity to politics, economics, social and lifestyle issues, and everything outside of this is threatening to those who believe this way. Those affected by this thinking end up too afraid to love, they are so threatened by the world around them. They define their Christian lives around the framework they've built to protect them from the pains, sorrows, and realities of real life. They have no idea how real grace can work in their lives."

It really comes down to a choice between love and fear. And I think sometimes we actually prefer fear. Fear means we don't have to be responsible. We are victims and there are people to blame for our predicament. But love means I walk with God into whatever is producing the fear and work it out. Love is taking responsibility instead of blaming. Love is almost always about being vulnerable... love is risky.

God does not use fear to motivate His children. He loves His children and moves them through love to action. Jesus and fear cannot occupy the same throne.

Rethinking Divine Wrath

I've spent my whole life thinking God was angry at me and that I had to perform well in order to stay in His good graces. I knew I was forgiven, was in relationship with Him, and knew God loved me. But, honestly, that love has always felt conditional.

Deep down I really believe God loved me as long as... as long as I was faithful, as long as I did good, as long as I didn't sin... the list felt endless at times. I always felt afraid of God, and thought that's the way He wanted it to be.

I love the story that Wayne Jacobsen tells to illustrate the wrath of God. Wayne, his wife Sarah, and then two-year-old son were camping in the mountains some years ago, a couple of hours from any medical assistance. He and Sarah heard blood-curdling screaming and looked up to find their son in the midst of a swarm of angry bees. Maternal instincts fully charged, Sarah led the foot race to rescue the boy.

The problem is that she was deathly allergic to bee stings. With no thought to her own well-being she swooped in to get her boy out of harm's way, incurring numerous stings in the process. And what do you think the youngster saw on his mother's face as she raced toward him? Fury.

But it wasn't directed at him. Here's the paradigm-shifting definition of God's wrath for me: "God bringing the full weight of His being against that which seeks to destroy the object of His affection."

You are the object of God's affection. Repeat slowly, "I am the object of God's affection." What looks like anger is not intended for you; it's aimed at sin, and guilt and shame--those things that twist and distort you into being less that God created you to be.

It is so liberating to know God is not angry at me when I fail, even when I sin. He knew I would do "it" before I chose to do it. And my doing it doesn't stop Him from loving me.

I've always been taught that the cross was about God punishing His son for my sin in order to satisfy His need for justice. God is not into child sacrifice, even when it's His child -- he's not like the other "gods" mentioned in the Old Testament (see Molech, Ba'al).

The cross was not about God satisfying His need as His son's expense. That would be like God saying to you, "I really want to be your friend, but first I need to go home and beat the daylights out of my kid for everything you've ever done to offend me, then you and I can be friends." If your neighbor made you that offer you'd think he was sick, and you'd be right; but that's what has been taught about God in many religious circles.

The cross was not about God satisfying some sick need at His son's expense, but about satisfying my need at His own expense. The cross was not so much about the punishment for my sin, it was about the cure of my sin... and my shame... and my guilt. God brought the full weight of His being against that which would destroy me, the object of His affection. He did that to remove all the obstacles so that I could have LIFE, a relationship with Him.

So I don't have to be afraid of God anymore. I can trust His love for me, come out of hiding, bring all my crap to Him so He can heal me. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)

God says, "I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me, for I have redeemed you."(Isaiah 44:22) It's safe to come out of hiding and approach God. He is not angry at you for any wrong-doing. He doesn't want to punish you, He wants to heal you.

Back from LA

That's not Los Angeles, but the postal abbreviation for Louisiana. My son and I flew down last Friday for a family wedding on Saturday and then returned Monday night. My daughter had flown out Thursday and was one of the bridesmaids.

The wedding was beautiful. My older brother's oldest child, his only daughter, was radiant. I was so proud of my brother--he's the man!

It was bittersweet--first time I've been back in 25 years (much baggage, I'll explain in a later post). Saw the old house where I lived from ages 13 to 20. Sad how things change over time.

Got me some Johnny's Pizza. The best pizza in the world is found only in Northern Louisiana. Love their "Sweep the Kitchen", includes everything but the sink. And gorged on the "Sweep the Swamp"--crab, shrimp, crawfish, andouille sausage, bell peppers... ah-yee!, man that's good eatin'!!

First time I'd seen my brother and sister and their families in seven years--since Dad's funeral back in 2002. It was a great trip... just way too short.

Seeing God in a Whole New Light

It's been quite a time, these past 40 days or so.... hmmmm. During that time this blog has been un-touched and I've been re-thinking so much of what I've believed and taught all of my adult life. It has been difficult to put into words at times, but one phrase that keeps popping up is "I feel like I've been lied to for 47 years."

Two big influencers of my thinking lately have been Brad Cummings and Wayne Jacobsen over at The God Journey. Wayne's site at Lifestream, especially his Transition teachings, have had a huge impact on my thinking.

Honestly, I've spent my whole life thinking God was angry at me and that I had to perform well in order to stay in His good graces. I knew I was forgiven, was in relationship with Him, and knew God loved me. But, honestly, that love has always felt conditional. God loved me as long as... as long as I was faithful, as long as I did good, as long as I didn't sin... the list felt endless at times. I was afraid of God, and felt like that's the way He wanted it.

It is true that "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom", but it's the beginning of wisdom. "If you don't love God you should fear Him... it will keep you out of trouble. But once you know how much He loves you, you never need fear Him again."

I've come to love this passage of Holy Scripture (1 John 4:18): "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

Who Moved?

I was walking through a classroom the other day and noticed a sign that really annoyed me. Beautifully framed, and written in swirling calligraphy was the message, "If you don't feel close to God guess who moved?"

It annoyed me because the message behind the message was "shame on you!". The implication is that God would never move because "He's the same yesterday, today and forever". Artistically scripted was the accusatory message that if the reader didn't feel close to God it was their own fault.

You know what's wrong with religion? Everything. Religion is about appeasing whatever god is being worshiped; jumping through hoops to stay on the deity's good side, and avoiding imperfection so as not to incur his/her/its wrath. What a horrible way to live.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in The One True God, the God Jesus called "Father". But He is not about religion. Religion always gets in the way of relationship. Religion says we must perform well in order to stay in His good graces. He says, "Because of my good graces you can come to me just as you are and I will heal you and make you whole."

God is not angry at you. He is near, and He wants a relationship with you. If you don't feel close to God it doesn't mean anybody moved. Don't mistake silence for distance. He promised to never abandon His children. He is near you right now. He cares for you and He's listening.

I Found It!

Many will be delighted to know that I finally found Jesus (in the King Cake). Yeah, I know, it's about time!

Pop the Pinata

Helping the man-child with a piñata project for his Spanish class. Messy fun. I've never done paper-mâché. A new first.