Love and Fear

Religion needs an angry god, and fear of his retribution, in order to survive. Religion is based on doing good and avoiding bad, however those are defined by said religion, in order to incur the god's blessing and avoid his/her/its wrath. Without fear religion doesn't work.

Jesus never came to establish a religion. He came to make it possible for us to have a real and living relationship with the real and living God. Fear can motivate me to behave... for awhile. Fear controls the mind. Love wins the heart. It changes the motivation--the want-to.

God doesn't use fear to accomplish anything. Fear always motivates people toward self-preservation, never into real relationship. God wants a real relationship with you.

Religion believes that it takes fearing for our own our necks to get us to "act right". It's not out of some high calling to serve our fellow man, but out of a much lower desperation to save our own hides. In terms of my relationship with God, love has done for me what fear never did.

God doesn't use fear, guilt and shame to leverage us into a relationship. Real relationship is based on love, not fear. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."(1 John 4:18)

A writer on another blog recently wrote: "Largely we've been sold a bill of goods in the past 25 years by evangelical leaders who have mistakenly taught us that Christianity is about protecting a way of life—a Christian nation, a civil/social morality. For many years now, Christians have been drawing lines, putting sinners on one side and themselves on the other, and saying, 'Be afraid of those people over there. They are out to get you. They will ruin your country, your lifestyle, your government… you name it.'

"What is tragic about this is how it reduces Christianity to politics, economics, social and lifestyle issues, and everything outside of this is threatening to those who believe this way. Those affected by this thinking end up too afraid to love, they are so threatened by the world around them. They define their Christian lives around the framework they've built to protect them from the pains, sorrows, and realities of real life. They have no idea how real grace can work in their lives."

It really comes down to a choice between love and fear. And I think sometimes we actually prefer fear. Fear means we don't have to be responsible. We are victims and there are people to blame for our predicament. But love means I walk with God into whatever is producing the fear and work it out. Love is taking responsibility instead of blaming. Love is almost always about being vulnerable... love is risky.

God does not use fear to motivate His children. He loves His children and moves them through love to action. Jesus and fear cannot occupy the same throne.

Rethinking Divine Wrath

I've spent my whole life thinking God was angry at me and that I had to perform well in order to stay in His good graces. I knew I was forgiven, was in relationship with Him, and knew God loved me. But, honestly, that love has always felt conditional.

Deep down I really believe God loved me as long as... as long as I was faithful, as long as I did good, as long as I didn't sin... the list felt endless at times. I always felt afraid of God, and thought that's the way He wanted it to be.

I love the story that Wayne Jacobsen tells to illustrate the wrath of God. Wayne, his wife Sarah, and then two-year-old son were camping in the mountains some years ago, a couple of hours from any medical assistance. He and Sarah heard blood-curdling screaming and looked up to find their son in the midst of a swarm of angry bees. Maternal instincts fully charged, Sarah led the foot race to rescue the boy.

The problem is that she was deathly allergic to bee stings. With no thought to her own well-being she swooped in to get her boy out of harm's way, incurring numerous stings in the process. And what do you think the youngster saw on his mother's face as she raced toward him? Fury.

But it wasn't directed at him. Here's the paradigm-shifting definition of God's wrath for me: "God bringing the full weight of His being against that which seeks to destroy the object of His affection."

You are the object of God's affection. Repeat slowly, "I am the object of God's affection." What looks like anger is not intended for you; it's aimed at sin, and guilt and shame--those things that twist and distort you into being less that God created you to be.

It is so liberating to know God is not angry at me when I fail, even when I sin. He knew I would do "it" before I chose to do it. And my doing it doesn't stop Him from loving me.

I've always been taught that the cross was about God punishing His son for my sin in order to satisfy His need for justice. God is not into child sacrifice, even when it's His child -- he's not like the other "gods" mentioned in the Old Testament (see Molech, Ba'al).

The cross was not about God satisfying His need as His son's expense. That would be like God saying to you, "I really want to be your friend, but first I need to go home and beat the daylights out of my kid for everything you've ever done to offend me, then you and I can be friends." If your neighbor made you that offer you'd think he was sick, and you'd be right; but that's what has been taught about God in many religious circles.

The cross was not about God satisfying some sick need at His son's expense, but about satisfying my need at His own expense. The cross was not so much about the punishment for my sin, it was about the cure of my sin... and my shame... and my guilt. God brought the full weight of His being against that which would destroy me, the object of His affection. He did that to remove all the obstacles so that I could have LIFE, a relationship with Him.

So I don't have to be afraid of God anymore. I can trust His love for me, come out of hiding, bring all my crap to Him so He can heal me. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)

God says, "I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me, for I have redeemed you."(Isaiah 44:22) It's safe to come out of hiding and approach God. He is not angry at you for any wrong-doing. He doesn't want to punish you, He wants to heal you.