Say Something

I've seen the movie Fireproof and was blown away. It is not the best movie ever made, but is pretty amazing considering the unpaid volunteer cast, with a couple of exceptions, is comprised of untrained actors. My emotions ran the gamut from laughter to tears, with a couple of white-knuckle-sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat moments thrown in.

In the story hero/fireman Caleb Holt (played by Kirk Cameron) is asked by his father to take a 40-day marriage challenge before moving forward with divorce proceedings to end his seven-year marriage to wife Catherine (played by Erin Bethea).

The “challenge” is presented in the form of a book, The Love Dare, which Holt agrees to read and which eventually transforms him and his view of love, marriage, and faith. The Love Dare is a plot device that became a reality and landed on the New York Times Bestseller list.

So, inspired by the movie, I got a copy of the book--figuring there's always room for improvement...in my case LOTS of room. So lesson one is, "love is patient" and the "dare" for the day is...

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue that to say something you’ll regret. (excerpt From: The Love Dare, Copyright © 2008 by Stephen Kendrick & Alex Kendrick. All Rights Reserved. used by permission)

So here’s my problem: when I’m hurt or angry I tend to give her the “silent treatment” or a “cold shoulder”, leaving her to guess what it is I’m angry about. I usually don’t have a problem “holding my tongue”, but rather “holding my tongue” is part of the problem.

So a more appropriate dare for me is not only to “say nothing negative” or “hold my tongue”, but rather say something, but make sure that something is positive.

Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. (James 1:19)