"Then were there brought unto Jesus little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them. 14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. 15 And he laid his hands on them, and departed thence." (Matthew 19:13-15, King James Version)
I was taken aback by the young mom in the orthodontist’s waiting room. She was surrounded by several children, all about the same age. One girl sat two chairs away from the woman. The girl apparently did something that didn’t suit the mother, although unnoticed by the other adults in the room. The woman was suddenly towering over the toddler, voice raised, finger pointed into the young face, demanding obedience. She swatted the girl on the legs and returned to her own seat.
The little one immediately burst into tears and went to her mother hoping for an affectionate hug and comfort. The mother, with a calm and syrupy voice said, “Did you bump your little leg? Come sit with mommy, you should never ever leave me, shame on you for bumping your leg.” It was creepy—physically and emotionally abusive and manipulative. I was uncomfortable, but at a loss as to how I should respond.
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Later in the day I picked up the local newspaper, the Virginian-Pilot, and read an article by Elizabeth Simpson:
“The numbers in a report released Wednesday add up to a picture of the region's children who die of abuse. More than half of the children who died during the past three years were less than a year old. One in five had been injured before by abuse. And 65 percent were in families or with caretakers who had had some contact with social workers.”
I was taken aback by the young mom in the orthodontist’s waiting room. She was surrounded by several children, all about the same age. One girl sat two chairs away from the woman. The girl apparently did something that didn’t suit the mother, although unnoticed by the other adults in the room. The woman was suddenly towering over the toddler, voice raised, finger pointed into the young face, demanding obedience. She swatted the girl on the legs and returned to her own seat.
The little one immediately burst into tears and went to her mother hoping for an affectionate hug and comfort. The mother, with a calm and syrupy voice said, “Did you bump your little leg? Come sit with mommy, you should never ever leave me, shame on you for bumping your leg.” It was creepy—physically and emotionally abusive and manipulative. I was uncomfortable, but at a loss as to how I should respond.
___________________________________
Later in the day I picked up the local newspaper, the Virginian-Pilot, and read an article by Elizabeth Simpson:
“The numbers in a report released Wednesday add up to a picture of the region's children who die of abuse. More than half of the children who died during the past three years were less than a year old. One in five had been injured before by abuse. And 65 percent were in families or with caretakers who had had some contact with social workers.”
“The report” was by the Hampton Roads (Virginia) Child Fatality Review Team, and summed up three years of child abuse fatalities, from July 2003 through June 2006. The study team was composed of regional health and social experts who compiled statistics for 18 cities and counties in the region.“About 40 percent of the state's child abuse deaths occurred in this region, even though only about 23 percent of the state's children live here. That percentage has stayed fairly consistent during the past decade. The region had higher rates - more than half of the state's total - in 1998 and 2003.”
There's no clear reason why more child fatalities occur here, though child welfare advocates have pointed to the transient nature of the area because of tourism and the military. One professional in Child Protective Services said she thinks local abuse investigators are better than their counterparts in other parts of the state at pursuing and documenting cases.
There were some positive notes from the study, one of which was that the number of deaths also decreased by nine from the previous three-year period.
"People think they should be perfect parents. They take it personally if they can't get their baby to stop crying." The majority of abusers were parents, and the most likely cause of death was a brain injury, often occurring when a baby is shaken or thrown. Boyfriends or girlfriends of parents were the second most likely caretaker in child fatality cases.
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This is NOT what Jesus had in mind when He said, “suffer little children…” (As phrased in the above scripture reference in the old King James English). Statistically, those who are abused today become abusers later on in life.
We must find ways to encourage and pray for the adults and teenagers we know who are responsible for caring for children—theirs or someone else’s—and find ways to help them deal with the pressure. I’m not sure what that looks like just yet, but we’ve got to find a way to stop the abuse and break the cycle.
~ Father, help me to love and care for children the way Jesus did. Give me your peace, patience and self-control. Show me ways to be a real help to those who are struggling. Amen.
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