Married couples need to nurture romance. It’s not about focusing on how to get something from your spouse, but focusing on your unique roll in his/her life: you are the only legitimate source of romance in your spouse’s life.
In the Bible, the Song of Solomon is a beautiful picture of a lifelong relationship. At their first meeting he thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. She didn’t see herself quite the same way:
“Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother's sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I have neglected.” (Song of Songs 1:6)
Throughout the book, the vineyard is a metaphor for their relationship. In the second chapter she instructs: “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.” (v. 15)
By nurturing romance you protect your relationship from potential predators. What are some of the “little foxes” that get in a kill a marriage? One thing we must guard against is unrealistic and/or unspoken expectations.
Check your expectations. If your spouse is continually disappointing you, it may not be his or her actions; it may be your expectations. Unspoken rules: “Husbands should always …” and “Wives should always ….” There is nothing wrong with goals and objectives, but it isn’t fair to create unspoken expectations for your spouse and then get annoyed when they aren’t met. Stop assuming and start communicating.
By nurturing romance you protect your relationship from potential predators. What is one thing you can do today to rekindle the romance with your spouse?
~ Father, give us wisdom and vigilance in protecting our marriage. Amen.
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